A dreaded day

I didn't think my day would be so frustrating, overwhelming, and full of emotion.

I am in the midst of studying for 2 huge exams. They are each 5 hours long and I will take both of them in about 3 weeks. I have studied for the first test and today I began reading the objectives for the 2nd one. I began to realize that I really have to study A LOT for this test because they are covering information that I am not very familiar with.

I began highlighting all of the things that I needed to get books on or research online so that I could refresh my memory. I began to wonder how I was to get all of this accomplished let alone study for the test. I began to doubt my ability. I have never considered myself "smart", people say oh well you have 2 degrees. That doesn't mean a dang thing, I had to work really hard for those, school/learning does not come easy to me. Plus things don't stick, I can learn something for a test and then it goes in one ear and out the other.

Here's the other problem, I have to know all these concepts...but I don't have a clue of the specifics. How indepth do I study these topics? Is it a general overview or what? So needless to say I lost a little control of myself. I was feeling overwhelmed and wondering how I would get all of this crap done plus all the other **** I have to do. I was pissed, angry, sad, confused, irritated...just emotional.

I hung out at the library this afternoon, oh that is my favorite place (not) searching for books, until I decided to ask for help. To my surprise this woman found some helpful study guides for me to purchase. Borders here I come. I was thankful to find a book, I don't even care that I don't have the money to get it. It will be well worth it.

Yes, I am still overwhelmed, but I feel now as though I have a direction and a map to follow. These next few weeks will be hell. I keep reminding myself that this is only temporary, God will help me, the Holy Spirit will guide me, and I will make it!!!!