State exam

At school today I was talking with a professor about taking my final state exam this past Saturday. Ok, the exam was KILLER hard. Many people I spoke with that had already taken the exam said that it was a breeze and nothing to worry about. But since I know that I take tests differently and like to be super prepared, I still went all out by purchasing a study guide and questioning those who have already taken the exam. Going in I felt very prepared and like I was ready to conquer. Those feelings soon changed as I began reading the questions. I struggled through the entire thing! It was draining, frustrating, and time consuming. While I was testing I couldn't help but think about those who said that it was a piece of cake. Did I miss something? Did I study the wrong thing? Where did I go wrong? Why do I have to be the only one not getting this test? I felt that I was lacking or inadequate.

As I was sharing some of my experience with this professor she told me that she heard from several others that the exam was hard too! When she said this, I was so relieved. I was grateful to hear that I wasn't the only one who had a difficult time. I almost wanted to kiss her because I felt so comforted. I was not alone in how I was feeling or what I experienced. I was so thankful and this put me at ease. So when I get the results back in a month and find out that I might have to retake it, I won't feel stupid, alone, or that I failed.

A year ago

It is weird to think that one year ago the Bears were headed to the Superbowl. That was such an exciting time for Chicago and for me (since I love football). I can remember the rush of feelings and anxiousness of Superbowl Sunday approaching. At the time I was teaching and the Friday before the big game everything in class was related to football; food, activities, attire... We had so much fun! As this years Superbowl approaches, there is not much excitement or anticipation. I will most likely watch the game and I am hoping for not an annihilation but for some competition.

But overall, I really do wish the Bears were in it again.

If you wouldn't mind

Tomorrow is the big day! My last state exam. I am anxious, nervous, can't wait until it is finished, feel slightly confident, thankful it will be over tomorrow...As I have reminded myself this week by praying and reaffirming myself with Scripture please pray that God will give me peace, confidence, and wisdom in order that I can accomplish this task in front of me (pray that I pass too!).

Thanks

LIFE.....

I find it interesting how through out your life you go through seasons. Some are hard and some are easy. Some are enjoyable and some are sad. I am in a season of being stretched and tested. It is exhausting, frustrating, and draining, but with out sounding too "Christiany", I am glad that my hope is in Christ. I know that when I come out of this season, I will be strong and well equipped for the next step in God's plan. I am constantly reminding myself to take one day at a time. And I repeatedly say to myself that God has a plan for my life, one to prosper me and not to harm me, to give me a hope and future. Those words I have close to my heart. Sometimes songs speak more clearly than I can express, some lyrics that I find myself singing are "Oh no You never let go, through the calm and through the storm, oh no You never let go every high and every low, oh no You never let, Lord, You never let go of me...There will be an end to these troubles, but until that day comes, still I will praise You!"

TV/movies

Kind of funny that the GB and NYG game was played in 24 below temps and the Superbowl will be played in the 60s. I would have enjoyed seeing the Packers play the Pats, but I do like that both Manning brothers play in back to back Superbowl games.

A part of me is missing, since 24 is not on!

"27 Dresses"....I loved!!!! A great chick flick to start off my year.

There are no shows on this season that I am super excited about. I am anxiously waiting for the return of "The Hills"! I am also looking forward to "Big Brother" and "The Inferno or Gauntlet" (whatever MTV is calling it) starting up again.

Driving

Do you ever wonder how you get from one place to the next? I can't figure out how my foot knows the exact pressure to put on the gas pedal in order to obtain a certain speed and stay at that limit, which eliminates me from looking at the speedometer. Does it ever seem to you like your car just knows where it is going? There have been days where I am totally preoccupied with my thoughts but end up where I need to be and wonder, how in the world did that happen?

Random thoughts....

Update

School is starting up again this week. I am not looking forward to this, but I realize that it gets to me closer to the end of my school journey and boy does that bring a smile to my face! So I will be taking 3 classes and in the midst of that preparing to take my final state exam.

I feel blessed to be able to have a job where I work when I can, that would be nannying and tutoring. An exciting thing happened this past week. A family called and asked me to tutor their child, but what is so great is that the class that I took last semester are the some of the exact tools I needed to assist this student. I am not sure I would have been able to help this student to the fullest, but now I feel confident and have an idea of where to begin and what to do. Yeah!

Back on track

After being sick for about a week and my body recovering, I have not been able to work out. Now granted, I couldn't imagine exercising while not feeling well, but then on the road to recovery I kind of enjoyed skipping out on my workout. Isn't it easy to fall out of a habit instead of picking one up...usually?

Since I am feeling great, I knew that it was time to get back into the workout routine. In a weird way I was kind of looking forward to it because my body was use to it and I knew that it will help me stay healthy and get fit. This morning I did it. And boy, it felt good. Tomorrow I may be a little sore, but that doesn't bother me one bit. These words of "looking forward" to a workout I thought would NEVER come out of my mouth. Since this habit has now been in place for a while it wasn't nearly as bad to get back into this routine.

Here we go again!

There were 3 major state exams that I needed to take while I am finishing my state certification. In November I took 2 of them and I just decided to take the 3rd one at the end of January. They are crazy intense and don't want to take it so soon, but I am also thinking that I will be done and over with them and won't have to think about it again, if all goes well. If you think of me pray that God would give me wisdom and peace! I am also hoping that my study guide will come quickly so I can get a jump on the action!!!

Money IS the root of all evil

There are days when this phrase is ringing in my ears loud and clear. Today happens to be one of those days!!! If anyone knows me, they know that I am a very careful spender...some may even call me cheap. I am very aware of how much money I have and I like to make smart decisions on how to spend my hard earned money. As a student I am working hard to survive and enjoy life. There are days like today that I just wish I didn't have to worry about every freaking nickel, penny, and dime!

I am dreaming of the day when I don't have to decide between getting a Starbucks drink or picking up fast food for lunch. I am dreaming of the day when I can go on a vacation and not have had to save up for it over a few months. I am dreaming of the day when I can go shopping a drop a few hundred dollars and it not be a problem. I am dreaming of the day when I don't have to worry about money. I guess I will have to keep dreaming. I am reminded that all these "dreams" are wants and things that I don't have to have but sure would love to have and enjoy. I don't think God has planned my life to always have to live paycheck to paycheck. I am not doubting that living this way has taught me things like good spending habits, how to live debt free...but there will come a day (I am confident of this, but don't have a clue how it will happen) when I will be able to celebrate my dream!

A penny for your thoughts.

Happy New Year

I would like to wish everyone a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! My new year is starting off right with a drink and treat from Starbucks! Although it is sad to see that their holiday cups are gone, something new and fresh lies ahead.


Last year I made a list of things I would like to accomplish through out the year. I am pleased to say that I accomplished most of them. I really like this idea and am going to try it again for 2008. Some of the things might be ones from last year (I liked them so well I couldn't get rid of them) but there are a few new ones in there too.


-make a new friend
-take a trip to Vegas for my birthday
-be more consistent with my God time
-continue to work out 3 times a week
-take a risk
-go parasailing
-help someone in need
-discover more of who I am and what that means
-keep my car cleaner


I may have forgotten a few...I will add them if I think of them. Have you made any "resolutions", what are they?

2007

I enjoy looking back through the year and going through all my memories. As I transfer things from my old calendar to my new one, I see how different my year was from previous ones. This past year was filled with a LOT of change, some that was good and some that I am still working through. There were definite high's and low's. I look forward to see where God places me and what new adventure lies in my future!

So many thoughts

As I have mentioned in past blogs, I went to California over the summer and fell in love (again) with being there. And then you know after you are on a vacation you think about it for a while wishing you were back in that place once again?! That happened to me!! And then when I would watch shows that had scenery from Cali and all those thoughts and feelings would be triggered. In addition to that, for the past 3 weeks I have thought about California EVERY single day. I miss seeing the ocean, the mountains, the warm weather, and the atmosphere. I have thought about what it would be like to live and work out there. This would be a big change and not as easy as it may seem.

I haven't talked about my thoughts much because in my world it is kind of tricky. Do you have any family or friends that put expectations on you and if you don't fufill them in some way you disappoint them? I am well aware that I live my life and that this is their boundary issue, but these impressions still haunt me a bit. Yet I don't want these things to hinder me from living my life. I don't want to live by fear or regrets.

I can't wait to see what will happen with my life.

Blessings

I would like to wish all my family and friends (and whoever else reads this) a MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! I pray that you would enjoy this important day to its fullest. Blessings to you on this Christmas Day!

Movie time

Despite how busy getting ready for Christmas can be, it is utterly important to get in a few flicks. This past week I saw "National Treasure" (for the first time), "National Treasure 2", and "American Gangster". So far so good. I am looking forward to watching a bunch more over my break...finally it looks like some decent chick flicks have come out as well!!!!!

Have you seen anything lately that you think is worth my time to check out?????

Why

What is it about the holidays that bring about the following. As a single, available girl I do pretty well with balancing the whole fact that I do not have that special someone in my life. I go about my business, enjoy life, work towards my goals, and I am not consumed and don't have that feeling of doom lingering over me since I am not currently dating (I know some that do). But for some reason around the holidays that all gets thrown out the window. Why? I would thoroughly love to have those warm fuzzy feelings and contemptment with that "person" (I can hear some of you now, "it doesn't look like it appears" or "that will fade" blah blah blah, let me enjoy it for a time). But that is not going to happen before Christmas in three days. So I will seize the moment and enjoy my time now with my family and friends and work through those feelings that won't be met. I know that one of these holidays these feelings will be met and I look forward to that day.

A new tradition...that I LOVE!

This family is near and dear to me!!! I have been watching these four boys for almost two years. Through that time I have become not only very close to Jordan, Taylor, Dylan, and Kode, but also super good friends with Erik and Ang. We took a road trip to California this summer, which was an absolute blast. So many stories to tell and laughs to laugh! One of the places we ate at a few times and enjoyed while we were out there was Baja Fresh.

For the past few months, we have made a tradition of eating Baja one night a week and just hanging out together. I thoroughly look forward to this time of rough housing, laughing, eating, catching up on life, having good conversation, watching movies, or just chillin'! I love this time to reconnect after whatever any of us have been through that week. I continue to look forward to these Baja nights as each week comes!

As I write this I am reminded of one of my New Years resolutions from this year which was

Christmas in a week

Christmas is such an exciting time of year! I love it. And what I have really enjoyed this year is starting to celebrate and enjoy the Christmas season early. So many people had their lights up earlier than normal or maybe they usually have them up but now they turned them on earlier. And listening to Christmas music even before Thanksgiving has really gotten me in the mood. I have been shopping and wrapping and boy it is just fun...and exhausting. What I can't seem to get is, how I wait in anticipation for this great celebration, yet it doesn't feel like Christmas will be in a week. I want to soak every second up and remember what this time is really all about!!!

Good News!!!

Classes were canceled for me today! I am thrilled. Not only do I not have to go, but we don't have to make the day up. What a relief to not have to drive in this ice storm. What I am most excited about is getting all those things done around the house that I just haven't had time for lately like: organizing my closet, going through piles of paper, watching a movie, finishing up my homework, and wrapping Christmas gifts. Some of this doesn't sound like fun, but I can't wait to do it and feel like so accomplished.

I pray that all of you make it safe in wherever you need to go today!

Yippeee

I am pleased to announce that I passed BOTH state exams for teaching. WAHOOOO!!!!!!! I was pleasantly surprised by the results. Thank you to those who prayed and encouraged me, I couldn't have done it without you!!!! Two tests down, one to go.